Thoughts On Devotion

I’m working on a discipleship class where I’ll be teaching ‘devotional life skills’.  The study has caused me to evaluate my own ‘devotional’ situation.   It’s becoming more and more fluid as I try to put some form and function to it.  There were times in my life where I needed a rigid structure in my devotional life.  Every day I would have a set format for what I was going to do as far as; reading, prayer and journaling were involved.  I needed that regiment, and my life was blessed by it.  At another stage in my life, that same format took on a more ‘obligatory’ nature to it.  I felt like I was knocking out a daily punch list, rather than communing with God.  Nowadays, my devotional practice has become more organic.

Books

I have a couple of books of a ‘devotional’ nature that I keep on hand.  There is always a Bible and a book in my van.  I always find myself sitting somewhere in my van waiting for something.   When I wait, I read and pray.  I also try to cut a portion of my afternoon in the office out every day that I haven’t waited in my van.  Right now, in my office, I’m reading segments of “Dear Pastor, Ministry Advice From Seasoned Pastors”.  I’m about to begin “Forgotten God’ by Francis Chan as my next ‘van book’.

Bible

I don’t even try to read my Bible in the morning.  If I do, I just walk away depressed because I couldn’t stay awake and I’m such a spiritual loser who couldn’t follow the example of David.  So what if David was a morning person?  He got up early to pray and read.  That doesn’t mean that I have to.
Those of us who are pastors spend a lot of time in the Bible as we prepare our teachings.  Some pastors say that this should not count as our devotional Bible reading.  I’ve heard them harp upon this topic time and time again at pastors conferences.  Back before I felt compelled to question everything and even think for myself, I took that advice in and didn’t allow myself to read from the book I was studying for my personal devotions.  Now that I have questioned this ideology, I reject it.  On Sunday, I’ll be teaching from Hebrews 10.  On Friday and Saturday, I’ll be digging in and studying that passage.  Since Monday, I’ve been slowly reading through Hebrews 10 every day… whether it be on my phone in the van while I wait somewhere, or at my desk, or on my computer at home…  I’ve been reading it….  I don’t necessarily group my Bible reading with my prayer or my books… but they are all happening outside of any obligatory regiment.  If I am talking with the Lord throughout the week about a passage, then I will be affected by that passage.  If I am first affected by a passage, I will be more effective in studying and teaching that passage.

I admire people who can follow a ‘read through the Bible’ in a year plan.  If I even try, my heart will be in the wrong place in a matter of days.  The best thing for me, is quality over quantity.  I’ve been reading Romans 5:1-5 now for about four weeks.  It’s still speaking to me, so I’m still going to go back to it almost every day.  Sometimes, that’s all I’ll read in a day…  just five verses, over and over.

Prayer

I always have a long list of prayer requests at hand.  For years, I plugged through the list, reading it to God.  I felt like God (or maybe it was my mind, I don’t really know), asked me, “Are you going to talk to me, or read to me?”

I want to talk to God.  Not read to God.  There might be 100 needs available.  I might pray for 3 of them.  I try to talk to God about my family, my city and the ministry at CCCville every day.  I try to talk to Him as  I read the scriptures, as if, by opening the cover the book, I am opening a new conversation, and therefore, I read it conversationally.  With that conversation, I try to practice the often neglected prayer… the listening prayer.  I rarely know for sure if  God has spoken with a still small voice in my head, but I always know when He speaks to me in the scriptures.

A lot of my praying happens when I drive.  My wife always prays in the shower, so I try to pray in the shower too.  If I’m in a waiting room, I try to remember to pray for the other people who are there.  I often pray for the person running the cash register.  Do I have a set time and a set prayer quota every day?  Not anymore.  I don’t want to read to God.  I want to talk to God.

Worship

Instead of finding times to ‘worship’, I’m trying to engage my heart in such a way, that the every day matters will be done to God’s glory.  Sometimes (and I stress, sometimes), I try to obey all the traffic laws for the simple sake of worship.  When people drive slow in front of me, or cut me off or have an offensive bumper sticker, I determine to have a response that glorifies God.  I’m not very good at this ‘all things to the glory of God’ practice… but I’m trying it out, a little bit, here and there.  I’m hoping that it becomes a more common practice.  I also play my guitar and sing, drive and sing and shower and sing.  Often times, that singing is worship.  Sometimes it’s Tom Waits or Ryan Adams.

Definition

I’m trying to change my thinking.  Devotions are no longer my activity, instead, devotion is the state of my heart (or, the hopeful desire of where my heart needs to be).  I want the ‘things I do’ to be a natural product of my heart’s devotion.   As with worship, I’m not very good at this, but I think I’m starting to move in the right direction.  This feels like uncharted territory for me, but I’ve often pondered the mystery of having my life, and every component of it, absorbed in Christ without it being some kind of regimental punch-list of works.  This concept is before me like a deep still lake and I’m barely dipping my toe in.  All the same, I’m content to dip my toe it.  More toes will follow.  Maybe even a foot.  Who knows what else.